Insight: Empathetic Dialogue in Governance

Our school’s theme of “leading compassionately through empathetic dialogue” is an uncommonly practical aspiration. This skill is essential not just for our students, but for all of us who serve the EPS community. I recently joined the EPS Board and the practice of empathetic dialogue shapes three vital aspects of my service to our community: governance, teamwork, and parenting.

Curiosity is the Art of Governance
The core behavior of effective governance is asking great questions. As trustees, we are “Noses in, fingers out.” This means engaging in thoughtful dialogue that helps us understand complex issues from multiple perspectives. When we practice empathetic dialogue in our board discussions, we create space for deeper understanding before moving to decisions. This approach allows us to better serve our mission of preparing students for a world that needs their talents and compassion.

Just as our teachers create safe spaces for students to explore challenging topics, we as trustees must foster an environment where difficult questions can be asked and diverse viewpoints can be heard. This is particularly crucial as we navigate the complexities of strategic planning and risk management. By leading with empathy, we ensure our governance decisions are grounded in a thorough understanding of their impact on our community.

Teammates Seek Understanding
Joining a strong team of great players like the EPS Board is harder (and more intimidating) than it sounds because there is often not something obvious to fix. An empathetic dialogue practice is so valuable in helping me be a more effective teammate in this context where I have to work harder to add value. Each trustee brings unique perspectives and expertise to our work, but I can only see how to help them when I listen. When we truly listen to understand—not just to respond—we strengthen our collective ability to serve our school.

This mirrors what we see in our classrooms, where students learn to engage with different viewpoints and experiences. As Sam notes in the podcast, these skills aren’t just “spun up” for special occasions—they’re habits of mind that we cultivate over time. By practicing empathetic dialogue in our board interactions, we model the very skills we hope our students will develop.

Children and Parents Grow Together
Perhaps most personally meaningful is how empathetic dialogue enriches my role as a parent. My daughter is growing and changing every day, and to support her effectively, I must grow alongside her. The school’s emphasis on empathetic dialogue provides a framework for having meaningful conversations about the complex topics that help adolescents develop.

As I’ve observed through the podcast discussions, our faculty create environments where students feel safe to take risks and make mistakes. This approach reminds me that as parents, we too must create space for our children to explore, question, and sometimes struggle—all while maintaining open, empathetic dialogue that strengthens our connections.

We Can Make a Kinder Future, Built with Empathy
In an increasingly complex world, the ability to engage in empathetic dialogue isn’t just a nice-to-have skill—it’s essential for effective leadership, meaningful collaboration, and supportive parenting. As trustees, we have the privilege and responsibility of modeling these skills while ensuring our school continues to nurture them in our students.

The podcasts have shown how our faculty weave empathetic dialogue into every subject area, from Spanish to mathematics. Similarly, we as trustees must integrate these practices into every aspect of our service. Whether we’re discussing strategic priorities, evaluating risks, or supporting our Head of School, leading with empathy helps us make better decisions for our community.

As we continue navigating the challenges and opportunities ahead, I am grateful to be part of a community that values and practices empathetic dialogue. It helps us fulfill our mission of preparing our students to make positive contributions to a world that needs them. And it helps us connect with people in the most human and humane ways. The world is messy. Empathetic dialog helps us remain clear-eyed and kind as we find our way, together.