INSIGHT: Spring Announcement
By Sedrick Bearman, Faculty, Chief of Mis (a.k.a. David Kelly-Hedrick)
It has recently come to our attention that due to the surge in global rabbit population, not to mention the change in the boiling point of British tea water, compounded by the steady fleecing of the imagination of those most prone to reading school newsletters immediately upon arrival in their inbox, we must inform the EPS public that the EBC program will henceforth be permanently terminated. All students will return to their seats in those tiny 18th-century wooden desks designed for maximum back pain and knee discomfort. No refunds shall be issued. Queries may be directed to Jack Yes-Man in the Tech Dungeon.
In response to the previous announcement, the Board of Directors has issued a statement implying, or possibly saying, in effect, or by near association that “the search for the new head of school will continue in the Macalupo Wilderness of East Northeastern Washington. Teams of students will be dispatched in the hope that said creature will be caught in the coming weeks and transported to its new home and leadership responsibilities on the fourth floor of TALI.” Please stay tuned for more news on this impending transition, and oh yes…happy April Fool’s Day!
One week to our launch of EBC 2022. Thank you, parents and families, for your incredible skill and patience in filling out endless forms and sending back to us. Thank you for your trust in chaperone leaders to guide and support your students. Thanks for the flexibility in facing a global pandemic and the reverberating impacts across the travel industry, our social lives, and everything else in the universe. Thanks for gearing up your kids with clothes, courage, and resilience. Exploration and adventure lies ahead for our EPS students. May they all go forth onto the EBC experiences with humility, curiosity, joy, openness, kindness, and compassion. And plenty of good humor! Enjoy the weekend, everyone!